I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
