I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
