my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
