Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
