So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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