shes about as inviting as chlamydia
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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