I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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