absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
