I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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