I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
