Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
