is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
