I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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