I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
