yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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