Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
