You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He better not be in your backpack
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
