My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
