I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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