Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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