It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I hate all girls vehemently.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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