either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Let the clothes fall where they may.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
