Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
