thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
