Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
