Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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