awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize