Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
