I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
