I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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