I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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