i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
she smelled like a LAN party
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
