You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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