the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
home. puking in laundry basket.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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