dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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