I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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