careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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