There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
