# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
