love makes seman taste better
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
