Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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