I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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