i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Life is so much better after having sex.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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