ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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