I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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