Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
