the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
