If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
sex in a hospital.. check
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
