I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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