maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
