real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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