I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
