trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
