I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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