try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
