she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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