Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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